My first week in Korea I wrote this list, some of it still applies, some of it has changed ~ but all of it brings back memories and makes me smile.
Originally Written May 4th, 2009
1. If you listen to broken English long enough, you start to talk in broken English
2. 20 degrees Celsius is apparently cold, and I should be wearing pants, a jacket, and using two comforters at night
3. There is a "Chinese Way" of holding chop sticks, and a "Korean Way" of holding chop sticks. I use the Chinese way... this is wrong
4. The Korean way of holding chopsticks reminds me of the 'Live long and Prosper' Star Trek hand symbol - and is ridiculously difficult
5. Sign language is an acceptable form of communication, and works with all ages of Koreans
6. Saying "Cum sa me da!" (Thank you very much) will get you everything - and out of anything ("Oh, she's a foreigner and she's trying to learn our language - isn't she sweet!")
7. Corn water is an acceptable replacement to tap water - but when drinking it, you feel like you are consuming liquid popcorn
8. Closets are not common in Korean houses, and when you ask Koreans about them, they look at you funny, and have no idea what you are taking about.
9. You should leave a pair of flip flops in the bathroom, and put them on every time you enter the bathroom, so that your feet never touch a bathroom floor
10. Bathrooms should always be sunken at least 4 inches lower than the rest of the house
11. Shower curtains do not exist, and this is why there is a drain in the middle of all bathroom floors - and why you where flip flops
12. Toilets have heated seats, and a remote control that offer bidet services, a fan, and a scary arrange of other things that do not come with pictures and are written in Korean
13. Windows should only be open in a room if you are IN the room. It doesn't matter if the room is stifling after being closed all day with the sun shining in - this is unacceptable.
14. The only forks Koreans own are "Fruit Forks" which resemble lobster forks. (The tiny little ones.) When you are judged inept at chopsticks - you are given one of these
15. It IS possible to eat an entire meal while still answering every time you her "What this?" with someone expecting you to identify whatever it is by the English name.
16. It is NOT possible to eat a meal without rice.
17. If the food is not mixed with rice, and then wrapped in a lettuce leaf - you are doing it wrong.
18. Sesame leafs are both edible AND delicious
19. If you don't drink coffee, they look at you funny
20. If you like green tea, they look at you funny
21. If you speak to them in English they look at you funny
22. If you try and speak to them in Korean, they laugh at you - and then look at you funny
23. Having blue eyes apparently makes me amazingly beautiful
24. Being told you have beautiful eyes 15 times a day is really good for the ego.
25. High School boys enjoy yelling "I LOVE YOU" across fields, parking lots, and classrooms (always at a safe distance!) and then running away with their friends laughing
26. Korean girls giggle a lot
27. Korean girls are shy
28. Korean girls pretend to be shy, and then when you least expect it, surround you en mass and want to take pictures with you.
29. After you have your picture taken with a Korean High School girl, they giggle, and run off as fast as possible.
30. Korean girls do not like to smile for pictures, they like to "pose" - this includes (but is not limited to): The peace sign, making a heart with your arms, making a heart with your fingers, covering the side of your face with your hand, hiding your face behind a fan, or giving yourself cat eyes with your fingers.
31. You are expected to pose for these pictures also
32. Never underestimate how silly you feel holding up the peace sign for a picture
33. Never underestimate how quickly you get over feeling silly for "Posing" for pictures - after all, everyone else looks ridiculous as well!
34. You can bus from the top of Korea to the bottom in 11 hours - yet most Korean are surprised that you are willing to travel 4 hours just for the weekend. (That much travelling should apparently warrant a longer vacation)
35. Just because you buy a bus ticket for a bus, does not mean that you get a seat on the bus
36. If you see that the bus is out of seats, but pretend that you don't understand the bus driver who is telling you this (after all you are just the "stupid American") then they let you stay on the bus
37. If a bus is full, you can put lawn chairs in the aisles for extra seating
38. All buses travelling for 2 hours or more stop at a rest stop for 15 minutes
39. All buses look the same - remember to memorize the license plate of your bus before getting off at a rest stop.
40. 5,000 won (~$5) is the difference between a seriously skeezy motel, and a generally decent motel
41. You can get a decent motel room for 30,000 won (~$30) a night
42. The TV has a porn channel that you don't pay extra for, and when flipping channels you may come across it
43. There is no such thing as a fitted sheet in Korea - their closest equivalent looks like a mattress pad that just lays on top of the mattress
44. There is no such thing as a top sheet in Korea - you have comforters and/or duvets only
45. comforters are extremely warm, but sleeping without one is extremely cold. ...It is hard to find a comfortable balance when you know a top sheet would solve all your problems
46. mattresses come in three varieties. 1 - Hardish, 2 - Hard 3 - Extremely hard, resembling plywood.
47. If another English teacher lends you a book, you don't read the back and decide if you would like it or not - you thank your lucky stars it is written in English, and damn well read it!
48. Norey Bong (sp?) is a favorite pass time in Korea
49. Norey Bong is the Korean version of Karaoke
50. Norey Bong is so popular, it is available on provincial buses for students (or other riders) to sing while they are travelling
51. It is Korea tradition to make the new girl sing the first song in Norey Bong. (and embarrass the HELL out of her in the process!)
52. Koreans generally know how to sing quite well.
53. Hanging out in the American bars with your English friends tends to make you forget you are in Asia
54. Soju (Rice alcohol) tastes like apple juice
55. If at first you can't find what you are looking for - look up. Remember, South Korea ran out of space years ago - now they build UP
56. The honking of a car horn can mean "Move out of the way"
57. The honking of a car horn can mean "Hello"
58. The honking of a car horn can mean "Coming up on your left and I'm speeding, don't move into my lane"
59. The honking of a car horn can mean "Do you need a taxi?"
60. The honking of a car horn is not considered rude, and is heard so often that people completely ignore it.
61. Taxi's are cheap - sometimes cheaper than the Subway
62. Korean food is cheap
63. American food is NOT cheap
64. The beach in Busan is gorgeous
65. The ocean at the beach in Busan in May is freaking COLD!
66. If you are in the American Military and are stationed in Korea, but you get leave time and decide to travel you grow facial hair and when someone asks you what you do, you lie and say you teach. You get less scorn from the locals this way. (To be fair, I learned this one by association.)
67. Koreans don't like the American Military in the their bars because they have the reputation for starting fights
68. You can fake your way through a game of cricket darts and come out the other side without looking TOO bad
69. Digital reading dart boards mean that you don't have to learn how to add up a score in darts
70. If a bar is small, and they don't have room for a real pool table, they can supply you with a "Pocket Pool Table" which is approx. 1/4 the size, with the pool balls resembling golf balls without the pocks.
71. Pool is always free
72. Darts are free, Digital read Darts are not
73. Saying "Pop" instead of "Soda" annoys the Americans in Korea
74. Lotte Department stores are HUGE, and can be 9 stories high and carry everything from food, to clothes, to dishwashers and TVs
75. If you can't get your taxi driver to understand where you want to go, you can text the name into your phone and just show him.
76. Koreans can read English much better than they can understand/comprehend the spoken English word
77. Busan in the evening looks like Vegas in the evening (but with signs that you can't read)
78. Managing to get from Busan to Iksan, and Iksan to Guemma by yourself is an oddly ego boosting experience
79. Koreans pronouce Guemma as Kooma (Kuma)
80. Guemma is so small, that even Koreans at the Iksan bus terminal have never heard of it
81. Guemmas is so small, they do not have open apartments for rent
82. Living with the principal of your school does have benefits
83. You don't call the principal of the school "Mr. Yue" - you call him Principal-Sir
84. Samsung and LG are South Korean brands - and they are very proud of them
85. SK is the abriviation of South Korea that Koreans use - however it is strangely comforting to see for someone who grew up in Saskatchewan :)
86. Skype is a wonderful invention
87. MSN Messanger is pretty good too
88. You can talk on the phone from Busan, South Korea to Saskatoon, SK for 154 minutes on a 10,000 won international calling card. (approx. $10)
89. You must have a cellphone if you are in Korea
90. You can`t get a cellphone in Korea without a bank account
91. You can`t get a bank account in Korea without an ID card or Alien Registration certificate
92. It takes 7-10 business days to get an ID card or alien Registration certificate
93. Green means go (to be fair, I knew this before I got here, but it helps the next few points)
94. Yellow means speed up
95. Red means stop, look around to see if cars are coming, or if pedestrians are coming - and if they are not, you may continue through
96. You can go as fast as you want on any road that you want, and the only reason to go slower than breakneck speed is if the car in front of you is slowing you down.
97. As dangerous as the driving seems to be in Korea, the drivers seem amazingly good.
98. Korean bus drivers can u-turn a bus, and back it up into an extremely tight spot (landing on a dime)without even a second glance
99. Koreans don`t use dryers, and have no qualms about flashing their unmentionable all over the neighborhood while they dry on the stands on the front lawn.
100. Writing 100 things that I`ve learned in Korea was actually not as difficult as I thought it would be!
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